What am I truly afraid of and why?

           People fear many odd things, from pain to war to spiders or even to the fear of eating peanut butter because people are scared that it will stick to the roof of their mouth and suffocate them. I believe that the reason people fear certain things are because of their own imaginiations overthinking scenarios into paranoia. Fear is strictly in the mind and can be simply overcome.

Knowing this I am not without fear; infact I have fear of most trivial things such as moths, heights, death, pain, and tight spaces. Sometimes these fears stay or go according to my minds whim however I have one peminent fear that is also one of the most helpful factors in my life. I am truly and sincerely afraid of failing. When I say failing, I don’t mean failing a test or even failing a course. I mean failing my family’s expectations.

Starting from highschool, my parents adapted to my ever-changing rate of maturity and decided to give me absolute freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, wherever I wanted. This was not without love this was because they wanted me to learn responsibility, to take care of myself and to learn the natural consequences that life hurls at you. Before, they did let me loose, they left me with an elongated explanation of how they wanted me to succeed in life because of all the sacrifices that my gradfather and they have made and all their hope was entrusted in me. Before, immature and naïve, I always considered their hope in me in to be a burden. It was always holding me back from doing what I wanted.

Now being sixteeen and having a greater comprehension of what my parents want for me, I am enlightened and fearful of letting down my family. Nevertheless, this rare mixture of fear and understanding has become my motivation, my drive and intention to try my best in school.

Fear has always been in the mind, but I never thought that it would be a foundation to success.

1337 and my feet are cold.

In this world there is a variety of styles for a variety of things. For example, in self-defense one could use submissions to defend themselves or with blocks and kicks. Both are the generally the same thing but in a different style. This is the same with computer language and texting abbreviations as well. It is all derived from the English and is a natural evolution of the language. 

           These new terms invented by people should definitely not be prevented. The human race constantly finds new things to improve on or change throughout time and the evolution of language should never be neglected. Within spontaneous online conversations or texting, people should say whatever that can to express how they feel however they want to using the English language. However, to simplify how one may feel, they abbreviate words or use emoticons. For example, LOL is to laugh out loud or OMG is “Oh My Gosh/God. These words have become so common that sometimes it has a reverse effect. People will say words that they would normally say in an online conversation; like “IDK”. These are some of the many abbreviations that people use to express how they feel and are even advertised in the media.

           Without such evolutions of language a large proportion of peoples’ creativity and emotions can be stripped from them. That being said, new slang that is invented through texting or online conversations should not be used in formal situations: such as essays, classroom assignments, or resumes. There are times when these colloquialism are acceptable and sometimes they are frowned upon because the lack of class. This is not to discriminate illegitimate words from the legitimate words, but to keep a level formality and class.

= )

First impression on Beloved

In the story Beloved written by Toni Morrison, the main protagonist is a black woman named Sethe who escapes from slavery and lives in Ohio several years after the Civil War. Personally I do not like how the beginning of the book is set up and the story line is difficult to relate to. Morrison introduces a setting and characters which are confusing and difficult to understand during the first read. My first impression of Sethe is neutral; I cannot say that she is distasteful but at the same time I certainly cannot relate to her. Sethe has complicated characteristics which are difficult to describe. She seems to live without a purpose, does not have any of her thoughts together, and keeps living in the past. However, she is confident and undisturbed by many things that would be distasteful to most people. Unfortunately, I would actually enjoy Sethe; however the narrator isn’t in sync with the characters and shows their point of view in a confusing way. Morrison confuses his readers by giving an imaginary setting such as a house haunted by a two-year-old baby that died and is “bringing forth hell” upon the house; then he switches to something very real and vivid such as Sethe’s seven brothers containing themselves from raping her sister by having intercourse with cows. In addition, the synopsis at the back of the novel says that Sethe is supposed to be a victim of slavery, yet the first chapters do not say anything about her imprisonment and misfortune. Furthermore, the introduction of the story is very disturbing as it is littered with incense and zoophilia. At first I thought that the author was referring to it on an imaginary level, however as the novel progresses Morrison describes it very literally. Even her own sons “held [her] down and took her milk” before they ran away from their haunted house. (p 21). Moreover, the characters are too different from the present day. I am not a narrow-minded person, nor an uneducated one; however Sethe seems like an unreal character with a “tree growing out of her back” (p 24). At first I thought that it was supposed to symbolize something deeper, but now I am truly confused because the narrator is so literal. In the end I predict that Sethe will evolve from a heart-chilling zombie, and hopefully become a warmer person.